When To Go Home

Last century I was reading a post on one of the many yahoo groups that used to cater to expats living in the Philippines, or those married to Filipinas but living back in Oz, the UK or USA, Canada etc. I remember a post that kicked off a heated debate about when did you know it was time to go home? I still remember many of the various arguments to this day, nearly two decades hence. In fact, when my time came to choose between staying on or returning to Australia, many of them rattled around in my head for a few days of decision making. ## The Honeymoon The first year is the honeymoon. You can't get enough of the place. You love it and everyone and everything about living in the 'Pinas. As your first year ticks over, leave. That way your memories will always be rose tinted, salad days type smiley ones. The first year can also be the toughest. Adjusting to a very different society is never easy. I found that, despite being very happy and enjoying nearly every minute during my first twelve months, I also had moments of, well I guess home sickness. I would suddenly get a mental picture of a street corner or a couple of buildings from back home. ## The Second Year In the second year you will either have already left or you will settle down and begin to feel at home. Where you live will be home, it will be 'normal', no longer exotic and unusual. Most things happen in any given year so you will have experienced at least once pretty much whatever the locale has to throw at you. ## The Third Year – Make Or Break For many the second year becomes the third the fourth and the fifth and so on. Sadly, though, for many the third year becomes the make or break year. They spit the dummy and fight back against the incompetence, the corruption, the seemingly stupid, pointless way of doing everything the hardest, most inefficient way possible. You get impatient with having every little item you purchase 'issued'. You can't handle the way people just walk into the traffic and don't look. You begin to use the word 'Filipino' as a swear word. It's time to go. Never forget this is their country and if it was just like home you would never have moved here in the first place. It is not for everyone and if it isn't your cup of tea then don't fight it; just go home and come back on vacation. Just whatever you do, always remember this is their country, not yours. You adjust and adapt to their way, not the other way around. Ok, di ba? *Perry Gamsby, D.Lit, MA(Writing), Dip.Bus, Dip. Mktg is a writer and lecturer who lives with his Cebuana wife and five Aus-Fil daughters in Western Sydney.*