True Love and Sending Money to the Philippines

You went looking for the love of your life, didn't you? You want to believe that she is with you purely because she loves you, right? She's not with you for the money, is she? Despite all the stories you hear of Filipina gold-diggers who take up with men they don't care about because of money, you are certain that your relationship isn't like that, right? Well, how could you possibly be certain when you're sending her large amounts of money? ## The Problem with Sending Too Much We get clients who send a thousand dollars or more every month, whose ladyfriends stop working the moment they form a relationship. A thousand bucks may well be small change to an Aussie with a good salary, but it's a lot of money in the Philippines, especially for somebody who would have earned less than 10,000 pesos a month before he came along! A thousand Aussie Dollars is worth between P42,000 and P45,000, and is probably 8 times what she was living on before. It means instant easy-life, with lots of shopping for fun and cute things. It also means your future in-laws are going to love you too, but for all the wrong reasons. ## The Big Question The big question: Wouldn't you prefer that she loved you for you and nothing else? Think VERY hard before you throw money at a girl! If you think she won't stay with you without you doing this, then good! Let her go! This is a big decision... THE "big decision". You want to be 100% sure before you take the plunge. You want to be certain that she wants to be with you for you and for nothing else. ## Gold-Digger Bait Two scenarios here... both true stories: **Scenario 1:** "I'm nearly 70. My kids are all grown up. I own my own house, and I have plenty of money in the bank. I just want somebody to take care of me, and when I'm gone she'll get the lot." He went to an SM mall in Manila, and told this story to sales ladies until he found one in her 20's who was happy to go back to his hotel with him. A sincere and loving relationship? What do you think? **Scenario 2:** "I'm 64. My wife died. I have a big house in the country, and one in the city. Here's a photo of my holiday home in Europe." This man also sent her money a few times, the equivalent of several thousand dollars. He pulled the pin when she kept requesting more money. She had bought a new motorbike and some fashionable clothes for her Filipino boyfriend! ## The Better Approach In contrast, when I met Mila, I was nothing like that. I arrived in Manila wearing my usual unstylish clothes. I needed a haircut. We didn't head for the best hotel in town. I don't believe I bought her anything in particular. The first time I sent her any money at all was when we organised our visa, which was about 12 months later. If she was a gold-digger she would have given up on me a long time before! How much different would things have been had both of these men not waved wealth around? They hooked gold-diggers because they used gold-digger bait! ## Bottom Line Basically, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! She and her family survived before you came along. If you didn't come along when you did, they would have continued to survive. Don't ruin her by tossing money at her. If she has a job, let her maintain that dignity.